The decisions you make during your divorce will have massive implications for the rest of your life. That’s why it’s so important to get sound advice and proceed carefully. Unfortunately, that’s not always the case in practice. Here are seven of the most common divorce mistakes we see—and how to avoid them.
1. Making decisions based on emotion
We understand that divorce is incredibly difficult. Your emotions may be all over the place: fear, resentment, anger, relief, sadness, guilt, and many more. Those feelings are valid, but they can’t be the basis of the decisions you make during the divorce process. A massive emotional outburst directed at your spouse or a hard line in negotiations because you want to leave your spouse as little as possible may feel good at the moment, but it’s likely not in your best interests long-term.
2. Getting advice from people with a stake in the outcome
It’s natural to lean on friends and family when you are going through a divorce, but you need to proceed with caution. People who know you and your spouse may be biased or even have a vested interest in the outcome. Whenever possible, it’s best to depend on third parties who can look at the situation more objectively.
3. Involving the kids in your decisions
Everything we said above goes double for your children. While it’s important to maintain communication and a loving, supportive relationship with your kids during this difficult time, they can’t be too involved in the divorce process itself. Don’t use them as messengers or pawns, and certainly don’t coach them on what to say if they have to meet with a judge or court investigator.
This applies to adult children, too; it may seem more natural to involve them, but unless it’s absolutely necessary (for example, if an adult child is a conservator for one of the divorcing spouses), they shouldn’t be involved in a dispute between their parents, for their sake and yours.
4. Not being realistic about your post-divorce finances
Divorce itself is expensive, but what’s even more potentially costly is building separate lives with separate residences after pooling your living expenses and income throughout your marriage. Remember, divorce is one of the leading causes of personal bankruptcy, and the financial consequences can last a lifetime. Be realistic about the funds you’ll have available and where you’ll be able to afford to live.
5. Being careless on social media
During a divorce—or, indeed, any legal dispute—you need to be careful what you say on social media. Anything you put out there can be used against you in court. Even if you have your privacy settings locked down, your spouse or their attorney may be able to get access to your posts, or a court may order you to turn them over.
6. Not gathering all your financial information
It’s critical that you can account for all your property, income, expenses, and liabilities when going into a divorce so that the court can properly divide your property and award child support and alimony. This is especially critical if you own a business.
7. Not getting experienced legal counsel
Again, your divorce will shape the rest of your life, and you shouldn’t go into such an important decision without experienced counsel. Talking to an experienced divorce attorney is critical. Time and again, our Belleville, IL divorce attorneys have been asked to come in and clean up mistakes that were made before our involvement in a case.
The sooner you get experienced legal advice, the better. Contact us online or give us a call today to speak with an experienced Belleville, IL divorce lawyer at Courtney Clark Law, P.C.
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